A Year and Stuff
I have a much different tone of this same post in another draft folder. In that post, I don more of a suit and tie, and speak like a best man at someone’s wedding: make fun of yourself, the ones you love and the future that’s yet untold.
However, I’ve never been a best man and honestly I’ve never been great at the whole “wedding” thing, so reading it now is a little odd.
It’s still a bit hard to believe that I’ve had this blog up for a year now. It’s even weirder that I’ve almost been abroad for a whole year too. What strikes me most about this “anniversary” is that it’ll actually be the first year I don’t have to pack up and leave to go somewhere else. Every year since I started college, I’ve had to move to a new apartment or home, either within the college’s city limits or abroad. For the last couple of years, I actually found myself keeping my possessions in boxes so it would be easier to pack up when the time came. I’m not sure if I’ve unconsciously prepared myself for the inevitable move, but a collection of boxes has since accumulated in my new apartment.
As the weather gets warmer, memories of the excessive sweating, roars of the cicadas and general confusion from last year permeate within my mind. I’m still bumbling around trying to figure things out, but I have much more of a sense of what’s up and what’s down, so to speak. I have many friends leaving the program after their first year, but I still feel like I only just got here. However, that’s their decision and not mine. I’ll continuing bumbling around here in their honor.
With those faces leaving, it reminds me of when my time will come. This last year has seemed just so damn short, but my final day in the office will be here before I can really comprehend it. Though, time is a brute warrior who will keep charging no matter how much I try to push back. Fighting against that is an exhausting and frivolous battle, so at some point I need to just accept that I will be gone, replaced and be in another location or situation where no one knows me. For the time being, it’s nice to think there are some people who might appreciate my company.
With new faces coming in, it actually becomes a little exhilarating. It’s far too easy to get bogged down by this job and just as easy to view the enthusiasm of a new hire as flat-out ignorance. But it’s that spirit which reminds me of the attitude I need to succeed here or, frankly, anywhere in life. The honeymoon phase of any adventure will undoubtedly end, but seeing people in the middle of that excitement reminds me of how I felt when I first got here. My internal fire reignites and I want to tend that flame while it burns just a little bit hotter.
It’s here I’ll once again thank those who have kept with this blog. Despite my failures in posting on a regular basis, I still actively think of things I can write. Seeing any amount of views on any given article reminds me there are people out there who maybe want to know what I’m up to, and for that I am very grateful. Who knows what will happen within the next year, but I’m just as excited, nervous, anxious and delirious as to what might happen as I was in 2013. I just hope you continue to enjoy my adventures in bumbling.